Have you ever gotten so caught up in plans, and ideas for your future that it just completely consumes everything you are?
Lately, I’ve been so focused on what will be that I don’t take a second to look at what is.
Last night our team got some pretty upsetting news. That we most likely will not be here next summer.
Now I believe that God does miracles and I’m all for seeing The Station being one, but I can’t not make plans for my future.
Where will I live? What mediocre job will I take to replace the awesome one I have now? How can I still be a part of something bigger that matters?
So many questions swirling around in my brain. So many thoughts.
Thoughts like how much I hate job hunting, and how there really aren’t affordable places to rent in Mammoth and I definitely lucked out with what I have.
These questions seem so overwhelming. But in the midst of the chaos in my brain, I took a second to stop and look around.
I somehow halted the perforating thoughts for long enough to breathe and be thankful for the now.
Gazing around our crowded lodge at all the campers and staff, I had this moment. I was grateful.
I was so happy that all these people are here and that I get to be a part of this.
This place was once my bosses dream, and for the past nine years she has been walking it out. She has fought and trudged through way worse things than just being snowed into the staffhouse.
Not only has she chosen to not give up, but she chooses each day to believe that there is something new God wants to show her.
So as I try to slow my mind and tell it the future will come and have worries of its own, I must also look to my King as He tells me “be still and know that I am God.”
Know that He has everything covered.
Know that my wildest dreams don’t even come close to the plans that He has for me.
And know that as I walk, stumble, fall, freak out, and hope to God my future isn’t as hard as it’s seeming to be, that He will always love me just as I am.
Here’s to living for the future while being completely consumed by the now, and trusting that God will tell me when one becomes the other.