Sometimes I sit down to write about a certain topic, and I get halfway through what I want to say and realize that I don’t want to finish it. Sometimes crushes just aren’t that important, or poems aren’t meant to be read by everyone. Whatever the case, I gave up my previous post about graduating to start this one and see where it goes.
So here I am.
I love writing. I write about love. I write about the people that matter to me and unfortunately the people that hurt me. Luckily I’m not a famous blogger so I don’t get crap for it like Taylor Swift does.
I have a couple of friends who read through my ramblings. (Thanks Jen) And I have a few more people that I don’t actually know personally.
Either way, I’m happy that some people find entertainment from the words I put down.
I started my blog five years ago. Mainly to write about school, or the guys that I thought I was in love with. I’ve expanded to family and friends and identity. If there’s one thing that I’ve learned through finding my true identity, it’s that everyone should know what their true identity is.
So, I guess I’m just testing the waters. I’m kind of done being afraid. I’ve lived my life full of fear. Fear of trying things or sharing my heart, past, and passions with people. I’ve been so scared of being judged, or hurt, or made fun of. Maybe I’ve just been scared of failing. But I actually think that maybe I’ve been afraid of succeeding.
Sometimes in life, our enemies don’t want us to succeed. Maybe sometimes we pick up on that and take that fear as our own.
I don’t want to be afraid anymore.
I am in the process of writing a book. There it is. It’s now out there for all you five to keep me accountable.
I am seven pages into a very rough telling of my life. Hard stories. Ridiculous stories. Me trying too hard to be funny or make readers laugh. Maybe me being too raw, or making light of things that are light to me now but weren’t when they happened.
You see. When you know someone’s past. The things that happened to them, and the things that they did in a moment of weakness. You can attest to God’s goodness in who they are now. That is testimony.
Seeing where someone came from, and seeing them in present day thriving despite the past.
Hearing someone’s stories about being held captive by darkness for so long, and not necessarily believing it because of who they are now.
So. I guess this is just the beginning.