How is it possible, that I can’t stop caring?

Somewhere along the way, I think I lost my ability for self-preservation.

I think I’ve lost my ability to say no, and I’ve lost my hope that anything can come of all this.

I get to the point where I would fight for you. I would defend you with every last breath, even if they are right. Even if everything they say is true. I would defend you.

Not a day goes by where you don’t mention some girl who means a little bit more to you, at least for that second.

I’m back and forth, up and down, and yet, you’re always there, and I’m always wanting you to be.

I always want you to be there. Hear your voice. See your smile when you’re making fun of me.

You infuriate me more than most, and yet you make me smile a lot more than the rest.

You make awful things seem cool and sometimes you wishing to seem cool to others makes me feel awful.

I think that you don’t get it. You don’t understand how truly great you are. You don’t see how your big heart could be meant for someone who is going to appreciate it, instead of young girls who are going to use it for their benefit.

I so desperately want you to see what I see.

I want you to see the dedication, the drive, the heart, the light and the beauty that I see in you.

You are so much better than trying to fit in with the people who will never be what you truly need. The people who live the lifestyle because they don’t know what real love truly is. God’s love.

And you know His love. You can be such a light for His love. You can spread hope, and joy, and you can be so much more than just someone who tries to fit into the mold that the world has set before you.

You are so much better than this. You deserve so much more than this.

Yes I’ve said all this before. You don’t know the extent of my heart behind it, but you know that I care. At least there’s that.

I care about you. I care if you get hurt, or if there’s a girl you’re interested in who is seriously not good enough for you. I care if your dreams come true. I care if you leave and I care if you stay. I care…




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