I’m used to being alone

I think the feelings of frustration I get from being home come from the fact that I’m used to being along.

I can’t stand having someone talking all the time, or not even really having privacy in my own room.

I can’t stand that I have to tell someone where I’m going when I leave the house, or even when I get up and walk ten feet to my room.

I literally find myself biting my tongue when my mom comes to my room to ask if I’m okay because she “heard a noise.”

I am almost a week in and I feel like I’m losing my mind. And I don’t know what to do.

Do I risk telling my mom that I need her to back off? Because I desperately do.

I’m an extremely independent person and it kills me to feel like I can’t go anywhere in my house and find solace.

I feel like I can’t write songs because they’ll be on the other side of the door.

I’m getting anxious.

I need to find something to get me out of here.

Is this what it’s like to be married?

To have your significant other constantly ask questions about where you’re going or just basically invade your whole sense of independence all day?

Because to be perfectly honest, if it is, I don’t think I’ll be ready for it for a very, very, very, long time, if ever.

I’m used to being alone, and making decisions on my own, and being able to go do things at the drop of a hat because there is no one else to check in with.

Now I know I may be exaggerating a little bit, because it’s my mom and it will be different when I’m with someone I choose to be with.

But still, they are going to need to realize that I’m used to being alone, and be able to accept it.

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