It’s been a while.

My life has been pretty crazy the last couple of weeks. And by crazy, I do mean crazy emotional.

All of my life I’ve thought that my heart would be protected if I didn’t let a man hurt me.

I thought that if I never got into a relationship with someone then I’d never have the chance to get my heart broken.

But I’m here now, and I’m fully convinced and ready to tell you that I was completely wrong. And that I was kidding myself for years.

This summer I had the wonderful opportunity to become better friends with a few women from my church. These people became some of my best friends. The people I ran to when I was lonely, and when I just needed to sit and watch t.v., or cry.

We joked, and talked about God, and talked about the future.

We vented about ministry, and about boys and about how Lorelei totally should have been with Luke the whole time.

This summer I learned to actually look forward to seeing people, because it wasn’t a given anymore. I wasn’t just going to be able to walk down my hall and say hi to all of my quadmates.

I learned how much effort friendship really takes, and how much effort I actually wanted to put into it.

I opened my heart to new friends. They weren’t just people I was thrown into a situation with. It was intentional.

And now my heart is breaking. More than I ever could have imagined it would.

I’m leaving.

I think about moving home and I can cry in an instant.

I’m excited for the future that I’m going to be preparing for, but sometimes I have doubts that this heartbreak from leaving friends is worth it.

Thinking about starting over scares the hell out of me.

And I may feel heart broken.

But I know that I have memories that I wouldn’t trade for anything.

And I think that’s what is most important.

Even if it hurts now, I know that I will look back and smile later.

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