Worn thin

I don’t know why, but I feel like I’m losing control of everything. And it’s not in the “I need to control everything” way.
I literally just feel so exhausted.
Or spread thin.
But most of the time I’m happy.
Most of the time I go a whole day being content.
And then I just feel lost on other days.
I feel like I’m not giving enough of myself, but then I look at my life and see that there is nothing left of me to give. Or it seems.
I think that I’ve hit the ceiling.
On my emotions. On my relationship with God.
I keep pressing harder and harder against the ceiling but it doesn’t come off. I just get spread and worn, thinner and thinner across it.
I know that something needs to change in my life.
I don’t know what it is.
But I know it’s going to come into my home of comfort and it’s going to blow up. It’s going to blow the ceiling right off.
And I know it’s going to hurt like hell.
But I’m ready.

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