An Off Day

Usually I’m a moderately confident person.

Confident in what I’m doing with my life, at least for the next day or two.

Confident in myself and my calling.

However, every once in a while someone comes along and throws a wrench in my confidence.

Today I went from being completely content with my life, to questioning if I’ll even make it to the end of the day. (I did by the way).

Right now I lead worship at my church and I love it. Being a worship leader is what I felt I had been called to. And I still feel called to it.

I have a job to pay the bills, for now anyways, and I’ve been pretty happy with the stability and income.

For some reason I decided to go into an interview today for a company I didn’t even know of, and after about thirty minutes of sitting listening to some guy trying to convince me that I actually wasn’t happy otherwise I wouldn’t be looking for another job, I left feeling like my life was spiraling out of control.

I was livid with this man. He was trying to get into my head and he doesn’t even know who I am or how I work.

I know who I am. I am not someone who can be a salesperson. It’s not that I’m “scared to fail,” I just really didn’t want to do it.

I came home and felt about a thousand pounds of pressure to go on Craigslist and try to find another job right that second.

I was off all day after that. I felt like I wasn’t in control. And for some reason I knew that I was in trouble.

I know the minute I try controlling everything I lose a bit of my faith.

I had to stop and relax. I know that God is going to take care of me.

I trust that God has plans for my life. I believe that no matter what God will provide for my every need.

I may not always have what I want, but I know that God is good. God is always good.

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