Usually I’m a moderately confident person.
Confident in what I’m doing with my life, at least for the next day or two.
Confident in myself and my calling.
However, every once in a while someone comes along and throws a wrench in my confidence.
Today I went from being completely content with my life, to questioning if I’ll even make it to the end of the day. (I did by the way).
Right now I lead worship at my church and I love it. Being a worship leader is what I felt I had been called to. And I still feel called to it.
I have a job to pay the bills, for now anyways, and I’ve been pretty happy with the stability and income.
For some reason I decided to go into an interview today for a company I didn’t even know of, and after about thirty minutes of sitting listening to some guy trying to convince me that I actually wasn’t happy otherwise I wouldn’t be looking for another job, I left feeling like my life was spiraling out of control.
I was livid with this man. He was trying to get into my head and he doesn’t even know who I am or how I work.
I know who I am. I am not someone who can be a salesperson. It’s not that I’m “scared to fail,” I just really didn’t want to do it.
I came home and felt about a thousand pounds of pressure to go on Craigslist and try to find another job right that second.
I was off all day after that. I felt like I wasn’t in control. And for some reason I knew that I was in trouble.
I know the minute I try controlling everything I lose a bit of my faith.
I had to stop and relax. I know that God is going to take care of me.
I trust that God has plans for my life. I believe that no matter what God will provide for my every need.
I may not always have what I want, but I know that God is good. God is always good.