Old Hopes

The other day I had the privilege to play a few worship songs with a guy friend from my church. 

One of the worship songs just happened to be an old favorite that used to have so much significance back in high school. 

I remember telling my friends that I would know that I had met the man I was supposed to marry, when he sang this song. 

Obviously with the exclusion of married men, people I actually didn’t like, and basically anyone who wasn’t the person I had a crush on at that time. 

Only this past week did I remember that I had ever said that. Now it seems completely ridiculous. 

It seemed completely ridiculous that I would place that big of a decision on one of the most played worship songs of that time. 

I think that it was more of a way of excluding people than hoping for the one. At that time I also thought that I would be marrying someone exactly like me, a worship leader. Well, I realize now that I really won’t know until I know. 

I’ve heard stories of people saying, “I’ll know it’s him when…” or “He’s going to do this…” etc, and those things actually happening and them meeting the man of their dreams. 

I remember an old friend saying that she would know that it would be him because it would be written in the sky with spaghetti (she was younger when she said this). Well, sure enough when she got into a serious relationship he wrote out a marriage proposal with spaghetti on plastic wrap and held it above her so that she could see the sky behind it. How cute/cheesy is that?!

It’s things like these that give me the slightest bit of hope.

For me it was a song, or the fact that he wouldn’t have kissed anyone yet, or the fact that we would just know.

I think that I’ve found better tells. You know, not the superficial ones like they have to be a worship leader, or know how to cook, or have this and have that, but the deeper more important things. 

Like maybe him being passionate about what God has placed in his life. That he won’t be someone to take things for granted, like my friendship. That he’ll actually be encouraging of my growth and challenge me to be in healthy relationships and fight for myself, because I never fight for myself. He’ll set up boundaries, even in our friendship, so that we continue to have a healthy relationship. 

There are so many things that should tell you if someone is the right person for you, and it’s not if they sing a worship song that you like and probably will forget about later. 

The person you should be with is the person who makes you want to be a better person by just being the person they are. They aren’t forcing change, they are challenging you to it by their very being. 

So I’m not going to meet my husband by him singing Hungry at a worship service. If anything I probably won’t know it’s him until three years into our very best-friendship. 

I’m not saying that those little things you hope for won’t happen, but having those lists and the little scenarios played out in your head gives way for exclusions of some pretty great people that you could have had a chance with. 


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