You see, I used to do this thing.
I’m sure that everyone has done it.
Sometimes when there are people we want to impress, we change things about ourselves.
We tell little fibs, or we take on interests that weren’t actually our interests a day before.
We joke more intensely. We do pretty much everything more intensely just so that person will notice.
I did this a lot in high school.
I remember being at my friends house and I liked his younger brother, who just happened to like heavier music.
I however, still listened to Avril Lavigne and had Switchfoot on repeat.
When I found out he liked that type of music, I went home and downloaded all of the Thousand Foot Krutch that my brother had. Because to me that was heavy music. (So Dumb).
Then whenever we would go hangout at that house and go swimming I would bring my iPod along for after and then listen to it obnoxiously loud so maybe he would hear, I think I’m still paying for that.
I also started disliking country because someone I liked hated it.
Then I started liking country again when I liked someone here at Life my sophomore year.
You see, I don’t necessarily regret those things, because I got introduced to some really great music.
But it’s when I see myself start to act different, or more intense. Or even louder because I desperately want them to notice me.
I realize this. And I’m seriously pissed off at myself.
For so long I have changed the things I say or do, or like, all because of someone else.
Who were they going to fall for? Because it sure as heck wasn’t me.
This person with random interests and stupid jokes and terrible taste (that I can see now) is not someone I would want to fall for, so why do I expect to have someone fall for me, when it’s not me?
This is why I’ve made up my mind
See, I no longer want to be this girl who has a different personality, or different set of interests every few weeks.
I don’t want to be this girl who is afraid to share her own taste with the world.
I don’t want to live in fear of being rejected by people.
I am no longer the person who is so easily swayed by other people’s opinions, or interests.
So yeah, I like Avril Lavigne. I like Thousand Foot Krutch, I like some country music. I like so many things that I am not going to stop liking because some guy doesn’t like them. I also don’t like certain things, and it’s going to stay that way.
I was made to be a kind, loving, and compassionate woman. That is who I want to be. You know. With her share of sarcastic remarks and jokes about hating children.
My God made me a unique person. I have a heart that, is yes easily hurt, but it beats for one reason. To praise Him who made me. And to praise Him the way He made me.
So, I won’t change for anyone, other than the one who created me.