Subconscious Check

They say that when we dream about certain things that it’s our “subconscious trying to tell us something.”

I have always somewhat believed that, except for my David dream, because I never felt like I had seen this person before.

But anyways, last night I had a weird dream.

My roommate was in it, our friend Michael (MOberle), and then the person that i’ve had a pretty steady crush on the past few weeks. 

In this dream we were in a school gym, or at least it had the vibe of a school gym. 

We were all hanging out in a little group and then something obnoxiously loud happened in the background. 

Then my roommate said, “when Michelle kisses someone I’m going to do that and embarrass her!” She’s referring to the loud noises and screaming. 

Both the guys laugh and then Sara and I share a look and the guys ask what. 

I explain to them that, “I’ve never kissed anyone, that’s why she would be making a big deal about it.”

Then the guy I have a crush on says, “Well if your looking for someone to kiss…” 

Yeah, I know right. He’s basically offering to be my first kiss. 

And what do I do? 

“Oh, nah…” I said a little unsure. 

And then realizing what I have done as he begins to back down, I go to say “well…” 

And then my alarm goes off and wakes me out of this dream where I make a complete idiot of myself. 

What the heck?!?!

Was my subconscious trying to tell me something? 

In the past i’ve been a little nonchalant about it, and sometimes I really just want to get it over with. 

Somehow my first kiss and my first boyfriend/relationship have become synonymous. 

They should be, I think. 

I don’t want to go around kissing guys that I’m not going to date. 

But this dream, it completely threw me. Even in my dream I held to the fact that I really don’t want to kiss someone just to kiss someone. 

It was a reassurance that I’ve been waiting for a reason. 

I have shared so many other things with people that should have waited. 

But this, this truly must wait. 

It’s the last thing I have left to give. And I’m going to make it worth it. 

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