Today i had a conversation with one of my best friends about our schooling and how we have changed so much since our first year here.
I used to be this shy girl who was really quiet and never spoke up for herself.
Now i’m this loud woman who laughs hysterically, and makes sure that my voice is heard. Most of the time.
I came here hoping to be turned into a worship leader, and every door was shut on that dream for three years, and now doors have been opened for me to pursue it and it seems as though i don’t really even want it anymore.
I came here intending to find something, someone maybe, to take me away from home and now i’m determined to return to my hometown and be there to see my nephew grow up.
I came here knowing no one, and now i have to say goodbye some best friends as they leave to go across the country, to embark on marriage, or even to just go and start their ministry.
This past year i have had these friends pour into me and encourage me, and embrace me, and protect me. And now they are leaving.
They are leaving in this time where i’m not even sure what i want anymore. These two best friends have been the ones to help me out of my ruts, and my dark places.
And i’m in a rut now. I have no clue what i’m doing with my life. I don’t feel passionate about anything at this point and I don’t want to do anything more.
I think that i’m ready though. It always gets to this point, where it’s hard to even continue. To move along.
But i think these three and a half years with friends and God to pull me through and change me and grow me, i think i can make it. I think that with just God i can climb out of this rut, out of this valley that has lasted so long.
I think that i can do it on my own now. I think that these friends have been so good to me and blessed me so much that now it’s my turn. It’s my turn to be that blessing to other people. It’s my turn to lend my hand in helping people through. It’s my turn to finally reach out, go out, and be with people.
So, as i say goodbye to my dear friends, i’m climbing this mountain out of the valley, and i think i can begin to see the other side.