Lately i’ve been struggling with three things.
And those three things happen to profess the one feeling i’ve never felt for someone special.
The words I, Love, and You have this strange meaning when they are all strung together. All by their lonesome they are just words, but put together in the right order and you get a love professed.
I’ve never loved a man. At least i don’t think i have. Not yet anyways.
I love my friends. I love my family. I love movies. I love a lot of things. But sometimes saying it just doesn’t seem right.
Countless times friends have said “i love you” to me, and out of habit i say ” i love you too.”
It’s not that i don’t love them, or that it’s annoying to say. But i feel like the more i say it to others, the more it loses it’s meaning. When i finally get to a place where i can string those meaningless words together and utter them with full confidence and feeling to the man i’ve been waiting my whole life for, i want it to mean everything.
I remember when i had my first and only boyfriend (of only a day) and he said “i love you” to me three hours after we starting “going out.” This is not love. And it wasn’t love when i typed them back to him right after. It was a response. It was automatic.
Saying “i love you” shouldn’t be automatic. Or a way to ease the pain of an insult. Saying “i love you” should be a way of telling a person that you care for them deeply, that they are a friend or someone special in your life. “I love you” is not a way to get what you want, it is a way to express how you truly feel about a person; you love them.
When i say these words i usually mean them, but even in my life it has become an automatic response. “I just love you!” -They will say, and i will just reply “i love you too.” At those moments, i don’t even really think about it, i just say it. It doesn’t take away the fact that i do feel those things. But i need to be more intentional about it.
God gave us His love, and He gave us the ability to love others. Lets not take it for granted by speaking empty words, but let us mean love when we speak them, and not just respond out of habit. All i know is that in my life, i really don’t want those words to lose their meaning.