I’m sitting in the Coffee Bean in Claremont Ca, talking to a friend over text.
She expressed to me that she had been really tired lately.
But she asked how i was.
I replied “Same. Tired. But i think it’s gonna be a good week…”
“haha why.?” she asked me.
“I don’t know. I can just feel it.”
Lately, i’ve felt like i’ve just been racing along trying to get everything done. Yet, though i’ve been racing around, it’s seemed like life has been passing me by, like i haven’t taken time to really enjoy where i am, or the people beside me.
Tonight i got the opportunity to go out to this coffee shop with a friend while she did her homework. I had planned on watching a movie on Netflix, like every other night. When we got here, we had conversations about friends, ourselves, and God. It was good conversation and it was much needed friend time.
I think i get so stuck in these little tiny rivets in life that seem like routine but really they are a bit of anti-social/paranoia. I used to be spontaneous, my freshmen year at least. I was in a new place and had made all new friends because i went to a school where i know no one. Well, take freshmen year and add three years and here i am at the beginning of my senior year wondering what i’m going to do with my life and making sure that my schedule is foolproof. I have work, church, classes, and then the extra time is made up of Netflix, sitting in my room on Pinterest, and/or creeping on Facebook.
However, today, i got to leave campus, and i got to hangout with a good friend and have good conversation. So as we sat talking and a silence came into the conversation, i took my opportunity to just ask a random question.
“Jenny” I said, “tell me what to do with my life!”
Okay, not really a question. But it needed an answer nonetheless.
She replied. “Record music.”
Okay, check. She said something i love doing.
And then she told me, “disciple people.”
Um, what? I sat there puzzled but just blurted out, “Why?”
She went in depth to tell me that i have the temperament, patience, and commitment to disciple people.
It was nice to hear that she thought i was strong enough emotionally and spiritually to be able to do so.
However she also threw in that she thought i was going to be a good mother. Which we made jokes about how i need to just have a baby right now, and then proceeded to jokingly ask a barista. Don’t worry, he didn’t hear us.
I think that in life, we just need those people you know? We need those people who are going to speak into us, or lovingly correct us, or give us a little guidance when we feel like we have no clue where we are going.
The smallest conversation can spark confidence, or a feeling of purpose.
So, i may be a little bit anti-social, but that will change.
Alright, i may be a little bit shy, and set in my routine, but there is always time to go out for coffee with a friend.
I may not be a very good guitar player, but i’ve got a voice that deserves to be heard, and a heart that is fully exposed in my songs.
I may have been tired for the past, well, my whole life.
But this week is going to be a good week. I can just feel it.